No doubt about it, raising a teenager is tough. Kids are drinking at an earlier age and there are more drugs than ever to dabble with and become addicted to.

Local parents have had to deal with everything from posting bail after a party is busted or their worst nightmare burying their child after a deadly car crash.

Parents wonder whether this can be prevented and how to deal with the tough teen years.

Derek Stoehr would much rather spend a day in the park than partying with his old pals.

"I ran into a lot of that. There are a lot of people that smoke weed and drink and they want you to do it with them," said Stoehr.

Derek's difficult teenage years included being kicked out school and time locked up in juvenile detention.

"I wasn't running around with the right kids. The kids I was with would cause a lot of trouble and I would run around with them."

A change in friends, behavior and school troubles are all warning signs Derek's mom saw. She would ground him, but the punishment would not solve the problem.

Beth Stoehr said, "There are times where I felt I wanted to give up. No matter what I was doing as a parent to my son, it wasn't the right thing."

Many parents get to that point with their teenager and say "What else can I do?"

Here's why parents should never stop trying.

Jeanne Brady, a Tazwood Prevention Specialist. said, "The number one reason kids choose to stay off drugs is they don't want to disappoint parents."

Brady's job is to go to school's across the area, like this one last month in Washington, and preach to parents about prevention.

"This is preventable and we're losing kids to it."

Whether it's drugs or alcohol, here are three tips to deal with troubled teens.

First and foremost, talk to your kids.

Start the conversation as early as 4th grade.

You don't have to make it a big formal thing. You can get the information. Ask them, do you know any kids who are drinking? Do you know any kids who are smoking? What do you think about that. Here's what I think about that. Here's what I will do if I find out you do that. Let them know consequences, let them know the family standards.

Second, parents need to be role models.

If kids are at your house there should be no booze and lock up the liquor cabinet.

Three, know your kids friends and their parents.

"When I was a parent, I was like where are you going, I'm going to call. 'Oh you'll be the only mom calling'. That's sad."

For Beth Stoehr, it took outside help in the form of Catholic Charities Case Worker Jeff Roper to deal with Derek.

Roper said, "He doesn't see me as a case worker or a counselor or how kids look at that with a negative stereotype. He sees me as a real person and because I'm able to get down with him on his level and connect with him on what he's thinking and feeling."

Roper says it is help that not all local families are ready to look for and accept.

"Sometimes the community stigma and people are more worried about what people are thinking about them or their kids. That seems to take a priority over the well-being of the family, unfortunately."

Parents can push, but ultimately it takes the teenager to make the lifestyle change.

"It came down to me. She tried guiding me so much and I never really listened to it. I just realized I need to do something different to make a better life for myself."

At 18 years old, Derek Stoehr has a steady job and just bought a car to hopefully take him down a better road. That's after he and his family took the tough road through the teenage years.

A recent state study shows underage drinking to be widespread in Illinois.

Some of the statistics may be startling to parents, like the substantial increases in drinking for 6th and 8th graders.